Great Balls of Fire
by the.write.way.42
Summary: The team makes the mistake of letting Jack sing karaoke.


A/N: Just a fun little idea I came up with, sitting in my dorm, a while back. Just got around to finishing it today. When listening to this song, I had an image of Jack singing this to Ianto, and just had to do something with it. I don't normally go in for songfics, but I couldn't resist.

Note on lyrics: I found several different interpretations of the actual lyrics for this song, and all of them differed slightly, so I'm going off of those that I think best fit the mood of the story.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, pubs, karaoke, Jerry Lee Lewis, or his song "Great Balls of Fire". I do, however, own the Crossroads pub. **

**______**

"Finally," Owen grinned, setting down his scalpel and stretching. "Friday night. Thought this week would never end!"

Tosh nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it." She turned off the computer monitors for the night. Of course, Friday night at Torchwood didn't mean much; in a job like theirs, weekends didn't really exist. However, after a week of pure hell, Jack had ordered them all not to come in Saturday unless the world was ending, and it hadn't taken much convincing to get them to agree.

On cue, Jack sauntered in, smiling at his team, eager for their well-earned break. "Pub?" he asked.

"God, yes." Owen put on his jacket, and handed Tosh hers. "Crossroads?" he asked, naming a pub near the Plass, a favorite of the Torchwood team. There were murmurs of consent from the others.

Once the others had collected their things, they headed out into the cold, coats buttoned and collars upturned against the wind. Laughing and talking, they made their way to the pub, Gwen, Tosh, and Owen in the lead, discussing their latest exploits, and Jack and Ianto lagging behind, walking in a comfortable silence.

Crossroads was crowded, and it was as they entered to see the mass of people and the makeshift stage at the center that the team realized that it was karaoke night. Gwen and Tosh exchanged worried looks, and Owen swore. Ianto looked wary; the look on Jack's face was nothing short of ecstatic. The others thought back with trepidation to the last time they'd been to a pub on karaoke night with their boss. It had been their last time at that particular establishment. Indeed, they tended to avoid that part of town, as a whole, if they could.

"Maybe we should find someplace less crowded," Tosh suggested, without much hope in her voice. As expected, Jack gave her a withering look.

"Come on Tosh! It's _karaoke night!_ Why would we want to be anywhere but here?"

Tosh eyed him apprehensively, but was saved from answering by Ianto. "Because you have the maturity of a five-year-old and the voice to match, because the world can only take so much Glen Miller, and because last time you sang karaoke you were drunk and replaced half the words with thinly veiled sexual innuendos," he replied dryly.

"And then you tried to get the teaboy naked, in front of everybody," Owen added, smirking.

Jack tried to pout, but failed, and the team remained unimpressed. "I won't drink beforehand. I promise."

"Forget it. We're finding a different pub," Ianto said, pulling at Jack's sleeve. The immortal, however, would not be dissuaded. Maneuvering out of Ianto's grasp just as the last song ended, he made his way up to the stage and murmured something in the ear of the man in charge of the music selection. Ianto groaned, burying his head in his hands, and Owen flashed a grin at the girls.

"This promises to be a fun night. I'll get drinks. If only we had popcorn, this would be perfect." Gwen stifled a laugh and Tosh put her hand on Ianto's shoulder sympathetically, but did a poor job of hiding her smile.

The three of them sat down as the song began, and Owen joined them with drinks a moment later just in time to hear the first few lines of Jack's song of choice. Ianto went red as soon as he recognized it.

"You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain," Jack sang, off-key and out of tune, microphone too close to his lips, eyes locked suggestively on Ianto, who was resolutely looking anywhere but at the stage.

"Too much love drives a man insane. You broke my will, but what a thrill. Goodness gracious great balls of fire!" Tosh and Gwen were giggling from the other end of the table, and Owen draped an arm around Ianto's shoulder, smirking.

"How romantic. Nothing like some good Jerry Lee Lewis to proclaim your love to the world," he laughed. Ianto muttered something in Welsh, and Gwen snorted into her drink.

"Watch your mouth," she teased him. Meanwhile, Jack's voice had gotten louder as he got more into the song.

"I laughed at love cause I thought it was funny, but you came along and moved me honey. I've changed my mind, this love is fine, goodness gracious great balls of fire!" By this time, various other patrons of the pub had begun to sing along drunkenly, at least to the 'great balls of fire' part, and a few clients of the female persuasion were craning their heads to see which lucky lady the handsome singer was directing his song to, and looking disappointed or amused in equal measures when they saw, instead, a highly embarrassed Ianto.

Jack was smirking from behind the microphone as he looked at Ianto's red-tinged face. Winking, he lowered his voice in a poor attempt at emulating Lewis.

"Kiss me baby,  
Mmmm feels good.  
Hold me baby,  
Well I want to love you like a lover should.  
You're fine, so kind,  
Got to tell this world that you're mine mine mine mine."

By this point, several people were pointing to Ianto, and Jack was having trouble not laughing at the mortified look on his lover's face. The rest of the team were wiping tears from their eyes and making fun of the poor Welshman, who was now sharing attention in equal measure with Jack himself.

"I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs  
I'm real nervous but it sure is fun," Jack wagged his eyebrows suggestively,  
"C'mon baby, you drive me crazy  
Goodness gracious great balls of fire!"

Ianto stood up abruptly and made to leave, but was pulled down quickly by Tosh and Owen. Seeing the attempted escape, Jack left the stage, taking the microphone with him, grateful that it was cordless, and made his way to their table to stand right in front of Ianto, serenading him. The man looked ready to murder the whole crowd, Jack especially. The immortal only grinned winningly and continued singing.

"Well, kiss me baby," Jack sang, moving closer.

"Mmmm, feels good." He pulled a highly disgruntled Ianto to his feet.

"Hold me baby." He placed his hands on the younger man's hips.

"Well, I want to love you like a lover should," closing the distance, he moved the microphone away for an instant to brush his lips over Ianto's, hands moving from his hips down his lower back.

Ianto shoved him away, but he simply dropped to his knees in response, taking Ianto's hand and singing dramatically. "You're fine, so kind, got to tell this world that you're mine mine mine mine." Ianto pulled his hand away and Jack stood again, singing to the room at large.

"I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs,  
I'm real nervous but it sure is fun.  
C'mon baby, drive me crazy  
Goodness gracious great balls of fire!"

The last line was shouted by the great majority of the room, but Jack had already abandoned the microphone, handing it off to Owen to seize Ianto around the waist and pull him into a kiss that had the whole pub laughing and clapping uproariously, sending drunken cat calls their way. Ianto attempted a feeble protest and then gave up, moving his own hands to his captain's hips. When they finally parted for air, Ianto looked Jack squarely in the eyes.

"Remind me to kill you when we get back to the Hub."


End file.
